As a young boy, I remember being afraid of the dark. I was certain there was a monster under my bed and that when my mom turned out the light, the monster would crawl out and bite my fingers off (weird…I know!). I even remember what the monster looked like in my mind. He was a human sized T-Rex with sharp teeth and hands with 3 inch claws (even more weird!).
Even after my mom showed me there was nothing under the bed and assured me that she and dad were just in the next room, I was still afraid when those lights went off. Thankfully, there was a night light to keep me safe and the covers somehow had magical “shield” abilities as long as I pulled them up over my head.
Looking back now, it seems a little silly. But as adults, we have many fears too. Admit it. We’re all afraid of something; rejection, loss, change, failure, sickness, death, poverty, violence, irrelevancy, etc. The list is long and these are our life-sized T-Rexes with sharp claws. Let’s face it, this world has a lot of darkness in it and it’s no wonder we have so much to be afraid of.
Until a recent event, I hadn’t been someone who let fear control my life. I honestly wasn’t afraid of much. But then something happened and I was suddenly, overwhelmingly afraid of losing someone more important to me than my own life. It was a paralyzing fear and for a short time, I could barely function.
That’s what fear does. It paralyzes us and prevents us from making good decisions or moving forward. Fear robs us of happiness and contentment. Fear forces us into a mind-set of dark thoughts and negativity which leads to depression and other health problems.
However, you should know something. Fear is a lie.
How can we face fear and anxiety and over-come the lie? Here are the steps I took and these work for me on a daily basis:
- Prayer - If you don’t believe (in God and his Son Jesus), you may scoff at this. You may doubt. I get it. I’ve scoffed and doubted too. But I’ve also learned how little I actually knew when I was scoffing and doubting. Prayer is simply talking to God. He made us. He knows what we’re facing and what we fear. And here’s the thing…He’s waiting for us to ask for help. God is not about barging into our lives without us asking. You never saw Jesus begging people to follow Him. It was always an invitation – “ask” for help, “seek” the direction you need to go, “knock” on the door and He’ll answer. To get through my daily list of fears, I take them to God and he has always answered. You can ask for help too.
- Friends – You’ve probably heard the phrase “There’s safety in numbers.” It’s true in every sense. If you have something causing you fear and anxiety, talk to your friends about it. I’ve often found that if I dwell on something long enough without getting outside input, I build the issue up in my mind to the point where it seems unbearable and I begin to despair. However, when I talk about it to my friends, they always have a different perspective about which I never considered. There has never been a time when I didn’t feel much better after talking to my friends about an issue or fear in my life.
- Church – You may not be church-goer. You may have been “burned” at church or have reservations because church is full of “hypocrites”. I have felt the same way at times. But understand that a church is God’s version of family. Of course it’s full of “hypocrites” – if you have 2 people in a room, you have 2 “hypocrites” in a room. So, don’t think of the church as perfect. If you find a good church (and they are out definitely out there), think of it as your extended family and support system. Some of my best friends go to church with me (see 2 above). When I was recently walking through a very dark time, those people showed up and kept me going in a huge way. Those “hypocrites” called me every day to check on me. Those “hypocrites” brought me a meal or 2, took me to lunch, sent me encouraging cards and email. Those “hypocrites” held me up when I was falling. So, in short, I would do anything for those “hypocrites” and I love them all! You can have the same thing. Just look around, shop around, and find a good church! (If you can’t find one, come to church where I go, it’s great!)
- Understand The Lie – You might wonder why I called fear a lie. The reason is simple. The idea that we should fear is the lie. We weren’t meant to live in fear. Sadly, our culture breeds fear. The news media magnifies the darkest and worst news because it is TV gold. Our politicians attempt to make us afraid of something so we’ll vote for them to keep it away. TV shows dramatize everything from murder to disease to natural disasters. But it’s all just a fake monster under the bed. God never intended us to be afraid. Jesus said “Don’t be afraid” many times. God intends for us to have a fulfilled, satisfied, contented life. The caveat is that without a relationship with Him, it’s not possible. But WITH Him, it’s just a prayer away!
Here is one of my favorite verses. Even if you’re a skeptic about the whole “God” thing, think about this. Try it out. Go ahead and put it to the test and see for yourself. But, be aware, if you really seek God, you’ll absolutely find Him. And your life will never be the same!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition…present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7
